Sunday, January 11, 2009

A new beginning....

This time last year (Jan. 10th) I was going through the hardest time in my life thus far (Lord, I know you will help me if I have to go lower to be grown closer...for Your glory!) and I purposefully missed my flight from Naples, Italy to stay with my parents. What followed was a near breakdown, tears without end, feelings of complete failure, a literally aching heart...weary to an extreme so severe I couldn't snap out of it. I was in desperate need of healing, but God chose to allow me to go lower to realize what I really wanted...what life was really all about for me. One night I found myself in an Italian marble-floored bathroom at 1:00AM crying to God and telling Him, "God I don't know how low You are going to take me, but I (tried to give an ultimatum) will only go if You make me more like Yourself and You get the glory through it!" I realized at that point that I could care less what I would be doing the rest of my life as long as I knew those two things were going to be done. He had changed my focus back to Him. It wasn't an easy road after that, and I'm sure that my thoughts were not all on the right track either from that point on. But, I can say that I'm in awe of how HE changed me! When Jesus healed that man with the legion of demons (Luke 8) He told him not to follow Him but to go and tell everyone about what God had done. I choose that route tonight. To say that I'm a different person is an understatement. He's been more than good and absolutely faithful!! He will NEVER let us down. Thank YOU Lord!!! Oh, and the speaking engagement this morning...the women and I did a major work in giving us all a hunger for more of Him...It was funny I tried to close three times...no one would leave! :)