Why does prayer seem like such a waste? Because I not only think that I can do what is impossible for me to do, but I really don't see a way out of me trying to do it. I don't pray because I see myself as an entity apart from God...someone not really needing God, just wanting what He has to offer.
I have an abnormal amount of energy is what I've been told and resist believing. Yet, I am assured that if enthusiasm could kill in excess, I'd be dead. It's always been something hard for me to contain which has made blending in a difficulty...then He granted me this hairdo! :) But, from God's mountain-top view of true influence and the ability to make change, my energy is like the wind moving the flower. It's not within me that comes the movement...it's His breath of reality on my life...though not seen. (I always fear making illustrations instead of just saying Scripture for fear of it leaking in some corner of it's reaching connotations. Please bear with me as I make the effort to be clear on such a magnitude of truth.) I may enjoy the sway (His working in my heart to affect my difference in outlook and change of perspective and even motivation of actions) and the feeling of touching others, speaking into their lives, or giving example or description of His plan of Salvation or better yet...of Who He is (His influence through me), but I must never think I made it happen or that the instigation of it came from my abilities, strengths, or even my arm of reach/influence. Movement never originated in me. It might have been initiated by me to let Him move me, but anything of influence for the Kingdom is powered by Him.
May I "blossom where planted" may be a familiar saying and a beloved perspective on contentment, but I must say, my inability to literally do such a thing is blare-ingly humerously obvious.
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