As if I'm scared to write, I sit here looking at this page. It's been so long since I've written anything that I wonder when I should start again. Is anything ever big enough to neccesitate someone taking a momment of their lives to read it? Is it like crying wolf to send something from me if it's not at the greatest quality I could ever write? NO! For perfection is far from me, so I merely journal tonight my thoughts recently...at least a few of them. No neccesity here...just a hope that somehow God may use them in your life. ...(It really feels good to write out loud again :))
1. NEED...Whether we feel that desperation surging in us or not, we need Him. In Yellowstone there is a gyser named Old Faithful. When it surges far below where our point of view is, it may feel like nothing is happening...there's not activity. But, what's hidden is about to be seen with a force unlike what would have ever been expected had we have seen the surges throughout the whole process. Inside us there is a surge of need, but nothing will shock us more than the actual truth that will be shown once we know Him more and more...I dare say we won't see the explosion of our need until we see His glory and grasp His holiness for eternity's duration. With every step we are fighting against the gravity of sin. The liar's determination to keep us from moving forward forces our every step to become a struggle. When I lived in Iceland I learned quickly that our greatest threat was not the snow and cold, but the fierce winds - literally dumpsters would roll and our jeep almost blew across the ice into our neighbor's house! In one book on Iceland someone put a picture of me leaning forward and the wind holding me up. I remember walking to school and fighting to take each step forward, but loving running the opposite way...the direction of the wind. It was as if I could almost fly! But, to get to the destination I was heading to required me struggling against it! Likewise, I used to hate it when other, older Christians a bit sinical and seemingly discouraged, would come and unload on an excited new believer the woes of following Christ. It was as if they had come into a haven where the wind wasn't against them and were complaining about what they had just been through...they had obviously given up in part because they weren't telling me anything about the bliss of their destination (not the final one)! Sometimes we are heading toward something and are just struggling to see any direction that we are going...as if the wind has pushed the snow in our face as well. It's in these times that we must remember that, if He can do anything, He can use anything - especially the struggle (even when we are seemingly going through it!) I've learned that when facing these "woes of struggle towards Him"(if that's truly what they are) each step becomes a marching stomp fluttering the dusts of the aromas and tastes of joy all around us...producing an only greater hunger for Him..our destination. (Romans 5:3; James 1:3, Rom.8:18).
2. There is nothing I know...Literally, nothing but Jesus really matters. In comparison to Him, what would I want to know more? Everything good that we know is just an imitation of the reality - no matter how great we may consider it to be.